Gak akan pernah pulih lagi?

Quote BBM one of my best friend:
I guess we will never really recover from the feeling of loosing our beloved family member (ES, 201211 1:56PM)

Hm, until now, I still think that my heart will not recover since my (beloved) father passed away in 26th Jan 2011.

It's been almost one year since he went to Father's home in heaven. I know that He is with Him. Soon, we will meet again in Heavenly family.

But, why it's still so difficult to be happy as I used to?
Why, my heart keep reminding me that He is now not with me, to share the happiness, the blessings, the achievement, etc that God trusted me with?
Is it the sign that I still haven't trusted Him with all my soul, my spirit, my heart and my body? That He always gives the best of the best to the people that He love?

The longer I know Him, the better I know His heart and the easier I trust and obey Him.
It needs all the time I have in this earth to know His heart and trust and obey Him.

So, if this experience is still difficult for me, still makes my heart hurt, still makes my mind wondering :why why', it is okay.
Keep going with Him, keep close to Him.

Now, I may not understand but it is okay, stay close to HIM.
After all, that's all I need: close to HIM.